You are a leader and you know many people (some of them your peers and others not).
But when decisions have to be made, you can’t always go to your team (if you even have one).
How do you decide which of your peers to talk to when none of them seem close? Or, you think the decision you’re making is “too small to bother anyone with?”
Those are the types of thoughts that have led to restless nights. It’s just self-inflicted wounds. I actively dug myself into a trench rather than giving someone a call or shooting them a text.
When I have pushed through those intrusive thoughts and actually reached out to talk to someone, the spiral slows down (it never fully stops – a hard decision is hard to make no matter what).
I had to learn to just ask.
How have I created this for myself over the years?
Simply stated: Be comfortable with being completely transparent.
Earlier in life, I had breakfast with an agency owner that was running a business well above my league. During that breakfast, he asked me a lot of questions about my business, and I gave full, detailed answers. I didn’t talk in vague terms (ie. “we grew 40% last year!”). I was open about how we had stalled at $320K in annual revenue and we were bringing in $70-100K profit each year (because I was doing most of the work).
That transparency allowed him to give me direct advice and feedback. The foundation was laid during that breakfast, and our relationship has grown steadily over the years.
Rinse and repeat.
But you have to start with one.
And one is better than zero.
Once you have gotten this established, make sure you are teaching.
The loneliness at the top is an often misunderstood challenge for leaders. It’s not that we don’t have ‘people’ around. It’s that our community is small – our time is very limited and the decisions we make often have long term impacts that we cannot foresee.
Tim Visconti
